Dear Huckleberry is an advice column aiming to use a bit of sound advice to nurture healing and growth, while hopefully making you laugh a little too. This column is not a substitute for working with a licensed counsellor. Please seek professional help if you are struggling.

Dear Huckleberry,
It’s been a few years since the pandemic hit, and it does feel like things are somewhat turning back to “normal.” I keep thinking there’s no reason to be so stressed anymore about it, but I have to admit, I still feel nervous around even the smallest of crowds. And, if I hang around too many people too long, I feel depleted for days. I was wondering if you have any mental health advice for what feels like a totally different emotional world. – Sincerely, Wiped Out

Dear Wiped Out,
“Normal” was pulled from under our feet so swiftly that it’s hard to trust in it again. We were in survival mode facing a new enemy the world wasn’t prepared for. And in the middle of all that chaos, we found peace in the safety of our bubble. Our brains processed all this and many of us adapted to the new normal. We developed new neural pathways, new coping mechanisms. Some of our neurotransmitters such as serotonin and dopamine went out of whack and our brain chemistry changed. So, you are right, we are living in a totally different emotional world.

But some people are still dealing with lingering consequences from the pandemic such as lung damage or mental health issues (PTSD, anxiety, depression) and we don’t truly know if this will ever be over, so it’s okay to still be in survival mode. But the fact is, you adapted already. You did the hard part. The Storm may not be over but you are prepared for it now, so as we wait for the sun to come out. Here are some steps that may help:

1. Ask for help. You may be having a harder time adapting dealing with depression, anxiety or just feeling stuck. If so, you could benefit from professional health care to get through this.
2. Share with your loved ones. They might be able to provide support or the push to get out of your comfort zone… or they might be going through the same struggles, and you could support each other through this. Isolation can increase the risk of mental health issues, so don’t go through this alone.
3. Set boundaries for yourself. We all have different levels of comfort when it comes to social interactions. So do whatever makes you feel safe.
4. Make a list of all the places you love, your hobbies, the people you missed, the food you craved… and one by one, dare yourself to revisit and reconnect with all of them.
5. Maybe throughout the pandemic you found people who bring out the best in you, or maybe you distanced yourself from people who don’t. Maybe you discovered new passions or realized the path you were on was not leading to where you wanted to be. Let the change brought by the eruption of your life open your eyes to what is holding you back and what adds value to your existence. You’ll find your balance as you learn what to let go of and what to hold on to.

The goal is not to go back, but to move onward. Whatever it takes for the feeling of normal to find you, the things you used to enjoy, your friendships, new experiences ahead, and the world around you are worth that effort.

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