What sharing your life with another being is really about

More and more of us are becoming aware of the need to hold space. If you haven’t heard of holding space yet, then imagine your heart (or emotional center) as a vessel. Very simply put, this vessel only has so much space to hold emo-tional commitment. The concept of saving space suggests that we can set aside space in our emotional center for ourselves and our loved ones.

When we make the commitment to share our lives with another being, whether that means sharing our living space (physical space like a house or yard) or not, we also share our emotional space. For the most part, sharing physical space is relatively easy, with the exception of losing your place in bed to a cute and furry friend! Sharing emotional space, however, can be more difficult.

Recently our horses demonstrated what it means to an ani-mal when we take the time to hold space for them. During a routine morning groom in the sunshine I focused solely on being in the moment with them. The rays of sun shone on my face, the cold bite of the fall air on my skin, I could hear their breath with mine, and most importantly, the quiet of my mind. The whole day passed and I practiced being in the moment with all our animals. Quietly enjoying their com-pany; just being. They showed their appreciation by being more affectionate, more playful, and most importantly more willing to spend time with me.

The connection that resulted from this quiet was unbeliev-able. Even my daughter’s mare, who hates leaving her herd, decided that spending time with me was more fun than being in the paddock eating grass with her buddies. Instead of her usual calling, pacing and trying to find a way back to her friends, she stayed with me, away from the herd and we shared an afternoon snack; her with her grass, me with my grapes. When time came for her to return to her friends she refused to go, she wanted to stay with me. No horse of mine has ever refused to go back into the pasture with their herd. This moment touched me in a way that has changed how I will interact with my animals for the rest of my life.

I now set aside time everyday during routine interactions such as feeding and grooming to offer them access to the space I hold for them. While it’s not always easy to turn off the chatter of my mind, the critters I share my life with enjoy the effort, while our bonds continue to grow.

Ta ta for now

Cyndi

Cyndi Bird is a certified Equine Sports Therapist and is a retired dog groomer. She can be reached via her website at www.opengaits.ca or email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . Cyndi lives in Port Clements with her family, one dog, one cat, four hourses, as well as her bunnies and chickens.